Left Behind
by sam2point-oh
Summary: This is the story of the ones Josh left behind, namely his sister, Emily. What could have happened that her sweet brother left without a backwards glance? Surely it couldn't have been something she said, could it? Will be updating soon, just moved!
1. Day Zero

Left Behind

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This is a work of fiction based on the North American reboot of Being Human. All characters, etc. are the property of their copyright holders, no infringement intended.

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He still looks terrible from his accident, she noted, taking in his haggard appearance. "Josh, are you sure you're okay?"

"Hmm… oh, yeah. F-fine. Fine, I'm fine." He said, his last word drifting off, nodding, as if to convince himself. His physical wounds may be healing, but the ones under the surface were seemingly still raw.

"Can I get you anything to drink? Coffee, tea, water?" The waitress asked, far more jovially than was necessary.

"Coffee is fine for me. Josh?" He merely nodded. "Two coffees. Thanks." They sat in silence until the waitress returned. She couldn't blame him for being distracted, from what she gathered, he was attacked by some sort of animal… and he was the lucky one, he was the only survivor. She grabbed his hand.

"I'm so happy you're okay." She paused, trying to maintain her composure. "I can't help thinking that you could've died." He squeezed her hand.

"I'm right here, Em. I'm fine." He tried to contort his face into something that looked encouraging. "I mean, I could be better," he added with a chuckle. She wagered a smile, though she looked on the verge of saying something. "Are _you_ okay, little sister?" She would never tell him, but she secretly loved when he called her that, it made her feel secure.

"Yeah. I was just thinking." Visibly stricken, she paused, started, and paused again, shaking her head. "I have to tell you… I never would've forgiven myself if I didn't and you…" She trailed off, not wanting to entertain the idea of her brother's death again. "I've fallen in love. With another woman." She couldn't help smiling, the relief of finally telling someone was overwhelming.

Whatever he was expecting, it wasn't that. He looked up, processing it. "You're gay." It wasn't a question, but she nodded anyway. His expression was slightly pained. "Oh."

She tried not to let herself think that her brother, her own flesh and blood, might have a problem with her sexuality, she never pegged him as a homophobic. "I'm going to go to the bathroom." She got up, attempting to cover up any trace of sadness. "We're okay, aren't we?" She asked, almost child-like. Again, he did his best to smile encouragingly, trying - and failing - to hide the mysterious pain coursing through his body.

Moments later, she returned to the table. Empty. _Maybe he went to the bathroom._ Sipping her coffee, she waited for his return. Ten minutes later, she stopped the waitress. "Did you see where my brother went?" she asked, motioning to the empty seat across from her. "I went to the bathroom and he was gone when I returned."

"He stumbled out a few minutes ago, poor thing looked sick," she said, smiling sympathetically. "The coffee is on the house," she added, sensing that something was wrong.

"Thank you," Emily said, leaving a generous tip. She couldn't help feeling upset and worried, in addition to nearly every other emotion possible. She rose quickly and exited the small diner. Instinctively, she reached for her cell phone and tried to reach him, but there was no answer. Walking to the parking lot, she noticed that his car was still in the parking lot. She couldn't decide if that was promising or not. He couldn't have gone too far, but she couldn't drive away the thought that he left because of her.

Over an hour later, after sitting in her car waiting for some sign of her brother, she left. Not knowing where he was left her on edge, but if he wanted to be found, he would have shown himself by now. On the way home, she added a few more voicemails to the collection she'd left in the hour she spent waiting for him.


	2. Day One

Staying up all night did nothing in the way of finding her brother. She told her parents what happened leaving out a detail or two. The were definitely concerned but it wasn't unusual for him to come home in the early morning. Exhausted, both mentally and physically, she fell asleep on the couch.

Emily woke with a start, her eyes darting around the room. What was that sound. Muffler? It sounded a lot like her brother's, whose death rattle was at the very least unique. Ten strides and she was across to the foyer pulling on her shoes and grabbing her purse. Four and she was down the stairs. Six and she was at the car. Peering carefully into the distance she looked for a sign of which direction he went. She made her decision, he must be going to his fiancée's apartment. They were getting ready to move in together, hopefully soon, as they recently put an offer on a condo.

As she neared the complex she didn't see his car. She drove in anyway, one lap confirmed what she already knew. She made the wrong decision. She continued to drive around the area, but she suspected that he was long gone. Defeated, she returned home determined to figure out what was going on. Although she felt that it was probably an invasion of privacy, she went to his bedroom. Its less of a bedroom and more of a studio apartment, it even has a separate entrance. Until he was eighteen, the room was an unused addition from a previous owner. He and I fought for it, but ultimately, he won out because he was the oldest and wanted his privacy. To his credit, he had made it look alright and used the space well.

He had been in here. There was dirt by the outside entrance… quite a lot, in fact. He came home to grab what he needed and now he's gone? She noticed right away that his computer was gone, as was his jacket and phone charger. Everything he needed. She didn't need to look anymore, she knew that he had definitely left.

Out of habit, she tried to call his phone again. She immediately regretted it – it had been disconnected. He was quickly cutting all ties to his life.

In the early evening, her mother returned home. "Have you heard from Josh?"

"No, some of his stuff is gone though," Emily replied, feeling hopeless. "I don't know what is going on, something is wrong. He's never just left like that, he's complete off the radar."

"I'm worried. I don't know what we should do though, he's an adult, we can't very well say he's been kidnapped. He seems to have done this on his own free will. We'll talk to your father tonight." With that, she started cooking dinner.

Emily couldn't help but replay the events of last night in her head, looking for something that could explain why he left. Something she was overlooking. She couldn't just believe that coming out to her brother was so earth shaking that it caused this. There had to be something else. The waitress said he looked ill, that he stumbled. Or maybe mom is right, maybe he's regretting getting engaged.

After a brief conversation with his fiance, who hadn't heard from him, she realized the severity of the situation. Josh was gone - completely off the map. She didn't want to think of what would happen if the part of the story that she'd not been sharing with people got out. Everyone would know she was gay and honestly, she didn't have the strength to deal with that on top of everything else.


	3. Week One

After a few days of quiet concern, Emily's parents finally broke down and discussed the options. They invited Julia, Josh's fiancée and Emily to be in on the discussion & ultimately the decision. After a lot of back and forth conversation, it was decided that they will not be filing a missing person's report. He seemed to leave on his own accord. They were going to respect his need to leave in the hopes that it would encourage him to return some day.

While sitting in her room, half-heartedly trying to read a book to distract herself, Emily kept getting urges to call out to Josh in his bedroom, who would slowly make his way over and they would talk and laugh for a few minutes. He was always good for a few laughs but he really was great at listening as well. They had a slightly better than normal sibling relationship, never really fighting too much. Above anyone else, Emily trusted her brother and wanted him to feel that way about her… but obviously he didn't trust her the same way that she trusted him. They wouldn't be in this situation if he did. If he could just tell her what was going on he wouldn't have to be all alone somewhere – possibly injured. She hated to think about it.

As much as she went over it in her mind, she still couldn't make much sense of the whole incident. One thing that plagued her thoughts was the ridiculous amount of dirt by his bedroom door. Josh wasn't the outdoorsy type. Wasn't. She was now thinking of him in the past tense. The thought alone was jarring. Josh _isn't_ the outdoorsy type, he doesn't like to get dirty too dirty and to be honest, he's something of a wimp. Where did all of the dirt come from? It is more than he could have dragged up here on his shoes, it's as if his entire body was covered in it. Seeing that she wasn't getting far not thinking about her brother's disappearance, she made a plan to get coffee with Julia. She wanted to talk to her about what happened, not that it mattered much now, but maybe Julia could take comfort in talking to someone about it.

She decided to get in her car and go for a drive to clear her head. She drove for what ended up being over two hours and didn't feel much better when she returned, she had absentmindedly driven past what seemed like all of the places Josh frequented. She even went inside the comic book store that he went to religiously when they were younger. To her dismay, someone asked about him, recognizing her from years before. She had to tell them, without sounding crazy, that her brother had disappeared. That he just left. Never to be seen again, or at least that's what it felt like for those who were close to him. It turns out that people aren't prepared for statements like that… a half-hearted apology was offered by his acquaintance. If people weren't prepared to hear something like that then she felt a little bit better about feeling the way that she did. Or, more likely at this point, what she didn't feel. She was dancing between two worlds, one closed off and numb to what was going on around her and the with a never ending supply of pain.

It had been hard to talk to anyone these past few days, even Jackie, the person she talked to most only had snippets of what was going on. How do you talk about someone who's gone… not dead, but gone. It was hard enough using the proper verb tenses when talking about him. No, talking to Jackie alone wouldn't do, she would definitely feel better after talking to Julia.

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The next morning, Emily had to get back into her normal routine. That meant going to her part-time job at Starbucks, dealing with people who were usually too distracted by their cell phones or the endless drink choices to figure out how to order properly. It also meant TV night with her best friend, to catch up on the shows that amassed on the Tivo. Honestly, she wasn't looking forward to either of those choices. Not that she didn't want to see her best friend, but she knew it would be another night of talking about Josh.

Work wasn't actually terrible today, it passed the time better than anything else had in the past few days. She even went so far as to pick up a few extra shifts. Today, fewer people asked questions. The ones that did know her didn't want to pry, which she was beyond thankful for.

Just after seven, Sara arrived, nearly taking the front door down in her fervor to get inside. She immediately embraced her best friend. They could have been hugging for seconds or days, but when they separated, both had wet eyes. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

"Not right now," Emily answered, shaking her head. She knew that she probably would end up telling Sara the whole story tonight, so she decided to put it off for a bit longer. They both plopped down on the couch and flipped on the TV. The seemed to know that whatever they ended up watching would probably be forgotten soon and settled at a mind numbing episode of 'Wipeout'.

"It feels like he died." Emily stated a while later. "He's just disappeared."

"I can't imagine why he would've left… he's going to school, he's got a fiancée…?" Sara's voice drifted off at the end, her confusion evident.

"And the waitress said he looked like he was in pain! And the dirt…" she continued. Sara looked at her quizzically.

"Dirt?"

"Well, when he came home - while I was sleeping of course - he left a ridiculous amount of dirt by the door in his room. I don't know what to make of it at all."

"That is really bizarre," she mused. "I hope he's not injured or something."

"There is one more thing though. Right before I went to the bathroom, I told him something," she started. Here goes nothing. "I… told him that I'm gay." She avoided Sara's eyes.

After a slight pause, Sara's mood shifted to outrage. "THEN HE LEFT?" Emily looked up, smiling slightly. "Why the hell would he do that?"

"I don't know… I honestly didn't think it would bother him." It was obvious that she was really hurt, on top of the loss of her brother. Sara put her arm around her best friend.

"Oh and I can't believe you came out to your brother before your own best friend. Jerk."


	4. Week Three

If there is anything more awful than picking up and leaving your life, Josh would love to know. Maybe if he went through that, then he wouldn't feel so terrible about everything. Maybe then he'd miss them less.

He didn't even know what was wrong with him… three weeks ago he woke up in the middle of a forest covered in dirt, completely naked. No memory, no clothing. Then he started vomiting. It tasted awful… there were some things he recognized as food and then there were things he couldn't possibly have in his stomach. Like pieces of bone. How could that get into his stomach? What about the bits of… flesh? Raw animal flesh? For a while he thought he was dying, but after a marathon vomiting session, he felt better.

On second thought, better was subjective - he felt less like he was dying. He went home early in the morning and grabbed the bare essentials, his instincts told him that whatever was going on, it was dangerous. Better to get away for a while and see what was going on. The drive home had been awkward, though it would've been more awkward had he been pulled over completely naked, save a jacket covering his lap.

Tonight is the night. He had to give his family something, he knew that they must be worried. He drove past his parents' house a few times, looking for any signs of life. It would be highly unlikely for them to be awake at this hour, but it never hurt to check. He cut his engine as he pulled up in front of his neighbor's house and quietly crept to the stairway leading to his bedroom.

Unlocking the door, he immediately noticed that his room was exactly as he left it. He wondered if anyone had been in it - they must have, but they took great care not to disturb his things. If anything, that made him feel worse. He looked around for anything else he might need, ultimately filling up a backpack with odds and ends.

He tip-toed quietly out into the hallway and towards the door that was slightly ajar. Peering in on his sleeping younger sister, he felt a pang of guilt. He could not have picked a worse time to disappear - he knew she needed him. For a moment, he watched her sleep, her chest rose and fell peacefully, but he could tell she was a restless. Pulling the note out of his front pocket, he laid it gently on her bedside table, gave her a quick peck on the forehead and walked out. He didn't stop until he was back into the safety of his car.

Maybe one day he could go back home. Yeah. Maybe one day he wouldn't be a monster.


End file.
